I've been thinking about something that happened to me a few months ago. I reunited with a friend I hadn't seen in quite a while. We were fairly good acquaintances -- not best friends by any means -- but we had quite a bit in common and had known each other and kept in touch for almost eight years.
Anyway, we went out a few times -- and it got more frequent over the past year. We had some amazing conversations about business, life, friendship and love. I had some serious and honest discussions with her. She gave me great feedback and shared much of herself as well. I thought a good friendship was in the making. She seemed to offer me her friendship wholeheartedly -- suggesting we get together for some fun activities, meals, whatever. It all seemed very simple and a nice thing. So, I followed up our last meeting with an e-mail telling her how I enjoyed our blossoming friendship.
The response? Nothing. Not an e-mail. Not a call. Absolutely nothing. (As you read this, you can think of tumbleweeds and whistling winds.) It's been about four months and I still haven't heard a word.
Now, what exactly happened? Did I do something wrong? Did the friendship move too fast? Was I too honest? Did I offer too much of myself? I can't think of anything else. In fact, she was the one making all kinds of suggestions for future activities. Or did she back off for some reason? Was I too much to handle? It was only a simple friendship, for goodness sake!
So, I'm disappointed and maybe a little pissed. But I'm really more confused than anything else. Is this what people do in general? Is it normal for people to do that -- get all close and friendly and then run away? Wasn't my offer of friendship of value to her? I'm actually glad I didn't have the opportunity to get any closer to her. If I would have, then I would have been really disappointed being dropped like that.
I refuse to chase after people, so I may never know what really happened and why she felt my friendship wasn't very valuable.
How on earth can people develop simple friendships if they are going to be dragged along and then ignored? Whatever...
99 Days 'til I run that darned ING NYC Marathon...
13 years ago
1 comment:
I'm afraid that it is the case sometimes that people keep some "friends" for as long as they need them and then just selfishly dump them. Or maybe they get bored, or tired, or they meet somebody that they think is more interesting, or their life gets too crazily busy, or something so bad happens they don't want to share it anymore, or they expected the friendship to be different, maybe more or maybe less of what it was - you never know. It sucks when it happens but I think you are right - it is much better when it happens sooner into the friendship than when you have invested much more time and become close to somebody. I guess you really cannot have too many even simple friendships, it's not that easy. No relationships are easy and you need right people to have them with. Sometimes it can be bumpy but still worth fighting for, but sometimes it is better to forget it. I can only hope we'll be able to avoid any such difficulties. I agree it is scary, when you get really close to somebody you feel vulnerable and it is difficult to believe that in this world of deceit, envy, and egocentrism you can find somebody you can truly trust, under any circumstances, for better and for worse...
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